Musings on Motherhood

I started this list shortly after my son was born.  Periodically I've added to it.  Just thoughts I've had during the amazing journey of motherhood.

1. The worst 10 minutes of my life was the span of time between when the doctor said "you are having an emergency c-section now" and when I heard my son's cry for the first time.


2. You may drive the same road home a million times, without any incident, but the day you drive your newborn home from the hospital, on the very same road, you will swear that meteors are going to shoot out of the sky and hit your car.

3. I never felt unconditional love until I held my son for the first time.

4. Suddenly your entire life revolves around another person's bodily functions. You will have entire conversations (over dinner) about the number of poopie diapers, the color, consistency and smell of said poop.

5. My favorite time of day is during one of those 3 a.m. feedings when the world is quiet and peaceful and no other people exist except for you and your child.

6. I never understood what people meant by "time flies" until I started packing away my son's infant clothes as he kept outgrowing them.

7. No book could ever come close to describing the feeling of your unborn child moving inside of you.

8. Becoming a mother has made me appreciate my friends (and all of their wisdom) more than words can say.

9. The funniest moment of my life was when my son discovered he could make raspberry sounds on MY belly.

10. I have discovered that a baby monitor can also be used as a public address system to summon my husband when I find my son covered in either poop or puke in his crib.

11. It takes a village to raise a child....and an allergist, dermatologist, ENT, gastroenterologist, orthopedic surgeon, and an oncologist.

12. Bad meltdowns can happen to good kids (and good mommies), that is why God created red wine.

13. Your child will never puke on you while you are wearing a raincoat. Once you take off the raincoat, you are on your own sister.

14. You will cry the day you take down your child's crib.

15. Potty training a toddler is the beginning of the end of your own personal bathroom experiences. From now on, you have an audience.

16. I now laugh at the fact that I was once nervous about having a boy because I didn't know what they like. Today I have an honorary PhD in making car/truck/airplane sounds and can spot a track hoe from a 1/4 mile away.
 
17. There is no stopping the uncontrollable flow of tears when you hear your child tell you "I don't love you mommy."  (Even if they are only joking.)
 
18.  Nothing can prepare you for the moment your child calls a perfect stranger a 'troll' in public.
 
19.  After a year of soul searching, I can now see the irony of taking birth control for a decade 'to wait until I was ready to have a child' and the fact that now that I'm ready to expand my family my body is telling me it 'is not ready to have another child.'
 
20. Even though I love animals, I have a hard time keeping my composure when someone compares their pet to my child.  The moment you walk out the front door and leave your pet alone when you go to work makes your pet different than my child.  Sorry. 

21. It takes becoming a mom to realize that Mother's Day is more than just a day to buy a card for your own mom.

22.  You will wish that you had the Wonder Woman invisible jet to secretly fly in and out of daycare when your child becomes the 'class biter/pusher/hitter' in order to avoid all eye contact with the other parents.

23.  During a time of crisis, you will miraculously summon the strength of 100 mommies to protect and care for your child. 

24.  'Catholic Guilt' has nothing on 'Working Mommy Guilt'.

25. I used to laugh at the working parents that had their children's 'art' plastered all over their desk at work.  I am hard pressed to find one official business communication mixed in among my son's gallery show currently on display at my place of employment. (My son is currently going through a Jackson Pollock phase.)

This list will probably be updated over time.  Feel free to post your own thoughts in the comments below.

[Caffeine consumed during the making of this blog: one Coke Zero (LOVE this stuff)]